DONT PANIC.

The Streaming Consciousness of the Whale
Another thing that nobody made too much fuss about was that, against all probability, a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existence some miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it had to come to terms with suddenly not being a whale any more.

“Ah! What’s happening? Er, excuse me? Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life? What do I mean by, ‘Who am I’? Calm down! Get a grip now! Oh, this is an interesting sensation. It’s a sort of yawning, tingling sensation in my … my … Well, I better start finding names for things, so let’s call it my stomach. So, a yawning, tingling sensation in my stomach. And that whistling, roaring sound? That can be wind. Perhaps I can find a better name for it later. Hey, what’s this thing? Let’s call it a tail! Yeah, tail. Hey, I can really thrash it about pretty good, can’t I? Wow! Wow! Hey! Doesn’t seem to achieve much, but I’ll probably figure out what it’s for later on. Oh, hey, this is really exciting! So much to find out about, so much to look forward to. I’m dizzy with anticipation. What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very, very fast … so big and flat and wide, it needs a big, wide-sounding word, like round … round … ground! That’s it — ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me?”

Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was,

“Oh no, not again.”

(to see this scene in action, check it out onYouTube!)

For Towel Day, the commemoration of Douglas Adams authorship of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Barrister and Mann presents our tribute to his brilliant work: 42, a soap that smells of petunias, ambergris, tea, and Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (lemon sugar). Grab a copy of the Guide, a cup of tea, and your shaving brush; its going to be a hell of a ride.

Net wt. 3.5 fl oz, Made in the USA

Directions for Use

Shake aftershave into your palms (we recommend an amount about the side of a quarter) and rub them together for 3 seconds. Rub your palms over your freshly shaven skin. There may be a mild sting upon initial application, but your face is about to look, feel, and smell awesome. We know you can handle it.

Ingredients

SD Alcohol 40-B (Alcohol Denatured), Witch Hazel Water (Hamamelis Virginiana), Water (Aqua), Glycerin, Taurine, Chlorella Vulgaris/Lupinus Albus Protein Ferment, Eleuthero Root Extract (Eleutherococcus Senticosus), Allantoin, Aloe Leaf Extract (Aloe Barbadensis), German Chamomile Flower Extract (Matricaria Recutita), Organic Licorice Root Extract (Glycyrrhiza Glabra), Acetylsalicylic Acid, Sodium Lactate, Provitamin B5 (DL-Panthenol), Citric Acid, Benzoic Acid, Fragrance